Why It’s Okay to Miss Who You Were Before Motherhood

Motherhood changes so much. Sometimes, it’s the big stuff we expect — sleepless nights, new routines, constant caregiving. But other times, it’s the small, almost invisible parts of ourselves that shift: the hobbies we set aside, the spontaneous plans, the late-night conversations about dreams we once had.

If you’ve ever felt a pang when you see someone doing something you once loved, or wondered whether you’ll ever get back to being “you” — you're not alone. That longing for your old self is part of the motherhood

identity shift, and it’s normal. It doesn’t mean you regret being a mom. It means part of you is growing, evolving.

Missing your old self doesn’t make you weak. In fact, it can be a sign of growth. It’s noticing what mattered before, and realizing you can carry that forward — maybe differently, maybe smaller, but still meaningful.

Perhaps it’s been a while since you read just for fun. Or you used to travel or take classes you loved. Or you had daily routines that felt like yours. The question isn’t “Can I ever have those back exactly?” It’s, “How can I reclaim some part of that for me, now?”

You might start by carving out five minutes a day for something just for you: a walk, a drawing, journaling. Or you might reconnect with an old hobby in a simple way — not perfectly, not with pressure, but with permission. The mental health benefit of these little reconnections is real: they feed hope, renew identity, and help you remember you are more than motherhood (even though motherhood is a huge, beautiful part).

You do not have to carry this shift in identity alone. Connection helps. Hearing from other moms who feel what you feel can lighten the weight. Sharing what you miss, the parts of “you” that feel lost — those parts deserve to be known. Because reclaiming even small parts of yourself is powerful self-care.

That’s why communities like The Branch exist—to remind you that you’re not the only one navigating this. Whether you're showing up to a local event or simply reading a story that sounds like yours, there’s something grounding about knowing you’re not alone.